the drum|rob fairbanks

Speak Life

What would it be like for us if the harm we do with our words had immediate physical manifestations in the person we harm? In other words, if I gossiped about someone, they were to get a corresponding gash on their forehead.  Or if I were to slander someone with some awful, untrue statement to assuage a pain that I carry around, then the next time I saw them they walk up to me with a limp that was the result of my words.  What if I exploited someone through sarcasm to turn a joke in a group (which regularly happen both to me and from me), but actually harmed the person I was exploiting. What if they bent over with abdominal pain? Would it impact whether I continued to gossip, slander or exploit? Would it finally motivate me to stop, to measure my words, to repent?

What brought this picture to my  mind was Proverbs 12:18. It says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

 It has the intense imagery of physical pain as a result of reckless words. Words do matter. They can wound. I mean, duh! They have the power to heal or to injure. Not to give us a break, but the apostle James goes so far as to says that it is impossible to control the tongue. It is an unyielding foe. James is, however, saying these things not as relief from harnessing our words, but to simply state the challenge before every human.

John Gottman, the ubiquitous marriage therapist, states that for a marriage to be healthy (really any significant relationship) there needs to be a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions. He does clarify that a positive interaction includes more than words. They could be in the form of a gentle touch, an embrace, a kind gesture or deed, but I would say that words form the main corpus of those interactions. The problem is, I know I am going to fail with my words. Seriously, I know it and hate it. The ratio though, does give me an actionable target. Divvy up all of my words and actions and make sure that I hit at least 5 to 1 with each significant person in my life. There does need to be action for the “one” as well…that would be in the form of forgiveness asking, which I will write about at some other time.

For now, I desire to live into the apostle Paul’s words, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29) There it is. Speak life, build life in others.

r

Racism, My City and Privilege

I am stirred up today. Perhaps anger would better describe my feelings. The reason? I woke today to the news that a restaurant that I frequent was vandalized last night with racially charged graffiti.

 

I'm exercised "partly" because I feel like I'm supposed to be. See, I identify myself as a social activist type. I speak and write frequently about issues of poverty, class, oppression and yes, race. The reason I say that I'm "partly" is because it is sometimes difficult for me to move beyond sympathy.

Hold on, I'm not suggesting I don't care. I care deeply! Deeply enough to act. Deeply enough to change. But, to become empathetic is a different thing. See, empathy means, "..having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."  The reality is I admittedly don't completely understand. I'm a white male. I am of the “majority”…of the “privileged.” I don't contest that. The only place I can even hesitantly empathize is in my utter bewilderment.

As a former collegiate athlete I would on many occasions find myself in gyms where I was the minority. On several occasions, I was categorized immediately by my “whiteness.” Assumptions were unfairly made of me before my name was even known. Okay, here is where I think I can possibly empathize (though I share this hesitantly) with the owner of "Ha Ha's" in the awful gesture sprayed on the side of his building. My feeling was, "Why would you think something of me just because I'm white?  You don't know me. You don't know if I'm a 'cracker' or not. You don’t know that I can’t jump! (I had to throw that last one in).” Whatever hurtful stereotyping the person who runs HaHa's and his amazing eating establishment experienced, the reality is the perpetrators don't know him. It was a dehumanizing gesture. One in which the owner of HaHa's and his Korean race were stupidly slid into the category of objects. Objectification is the process of representing or treating a person as an object, one that serves. Subjects are those acting and objects are those being acted upon. It is a gesture, often violent, of subjugation or power. This is most certainly found in racial hatred, but also in gender, sex in the form of pornography, politics, and a whole array of other issues where people seek to use power over others. I don’t know for sure, but I would assume that in seeing the graffiti, the owner of HaHa's may have asked, “Why did they do this to me? I am a good guy. I offer good food at a fair price. They have no reason to hate me. They don’t even know me.”

I suppose the question that must be asked is; are there people in our world’s that we dehumanize. People of other skin color? People who are gay? Folks with mental illness? People from other religious backgrounds? People from other countries?

Here is one of the main reasons this matters so much to me. I'm disturbed about this morning’s incident (perpetrating hatred against another) is because I have a passionate dream that my city would be different. I attempt to live my life with the future in mind. In theological terms, this is called an eschatological hope. See, biblically all things will ultimately be reconciled or righted. It is best represented in Revelation 21:4 where it says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  If you read “the book,” you will also realize that race is a big deal to God. Over and over it states that at this wonderful culmination there will be a massive multi-racial worship service going on which includes every “tongue and nation.” No exclusion based upon race, definitive inclusion. As we endeavor to imagine the way things are supposed to be, objectification of others is…well, unimaginable! My goal then is to, with all I have, live into the future now. Where I see injustice, or poverty, or any type of hatred, I must both speak and act to demonstrate the grand reign of God. This future of wholeness animates my life now! In my thinking, when my current reality, my current city in this case, does not align with God’s ultimate proposed hope for His creation I must attempt to act out as an instrument to bring about what ought to be…

Now!

r

Why Do We Call Him Lord (HT - McKnight)

I came across this today and felt like posting it, particuuarly as our country continues in its warring posture and stands on the precipice of another engagement.

We call a poor man “Lord” and in his name determine friends and enemies on the basis of who has oil for us.

We call “Lord” a man who told us to love our enemies but in his name make enemies to promote our values.

We call a peaceful man “Lord” and then favor those who divide in order to conquer.

We call “Lord” the one who gave us a vision for life that will not succumb to broken realities and we chose instead to use pragmatic justifications.

Why do we call him “Lord” and not do as he says?

Yoder's, The Priestly Kingdom, 195. (HT - Jesus Creed)

Christ have mercy...

r

Hatred or Love, Vengeance or Mercy

I awoke this morning to two very different bits of news.

The first was on CNN about another senseless and seemingly random murder…this time in my own city. We’ve finally made the top story on CNN. Unfortunately, it was for reprehensible reasons. Two teens beat a World War II vet to death yesterday not far from my home. An 88-year-old man! This is immediately on the heels of the similar senseless shooting of an Australian youth living and going to school in Oklahoma by 3 other teens, apparently because they were “bored.” Although, there does seem to be some race motive behind that act. Many in Australian at this point are measuring whether coming to the U.S. is a reasonable venture because of fear of this type of violence. There is even gestures of a “Boycott” of the U.S.

Honestly, I am taken aback by the motiveless anger and violence that these two events represent. I was saying to Robi this morning that for the first time as an adult I feel like my own land is incredibly unsafe.  I know violence has been present forever. I know that. I don’t live in a cave. You can also say that I am over reacting, but MY feelings are real. An aside: Isn’t that what the goal of terrorism is? To create fear?

The other bit of news I received this morning was on a site that I listen to often while laying in bed – Pray as you go.  The message this morning was from Matthew where a Lawyer questions Jesus about the greatest of all commandments.

Here it is:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Jesus is in essence saying that the most important thing His follower can think or do is love! Love God and love others. Unrestrained, unafraid, intentionally love.

Talk about a dichotomy of messages: Random hatred and unmitigated love!

Two things come to my mind:

1. How do I love when the world seems like it is reeling the opposite direction? I honestly feel like I want to move toward retribution, not love. I want justice, not mercy. I even sometimes feel like it would be best (and justified) just to return the favor and kill the perpetrators of the original act. You know…Eye for an eye stuff. How do you process those feelings?
2. I also have this emerging feeling that we are moving toward a time when some of Jesus’ words will make a great deal more sense in our land. Sayings like, “You are the salt of the earth” and “You are the light of the world.” When you think of these sayings, you get the feeling that Christians are to be a contrast people…counter-cultural in our ethic and responses (unfortunately, many Christians I know opt toward actuating the feelings I described in my first point – “just kill em”). Well, today, maybe more than ever in recent years, a response of loving will create a great contrast. In the historic moralistic setting Americans exist in where “civil religion” has reigned, being “salty” and “lighty” sometimes gets blurry with all the nationalistic and quasi-religious overtones. I am moved by the idea that this is THE opportune time to display the grand Kingdom of our Lord, Jesus!

Can we love when treated poorly? What does that even look like?

Can we respond with kindness, instead of vengeance?

Can we step fearlessly toward others, who are wounded and hurt...and violent with something other than retribution?

Will we hide out in superficially safe environments to avoid the people that Jesus died for because of love?

Could it be that this is the time for the church, Christ's followers to rise and provide the only remedy for the emptiness and hurt in the world that is behind these acts?

Is it possible that the very symbol Jesus challenges us to display will be what we are actually known for?

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

Peace,

r

The Church: A Banquet for Your Friends or a Refuge for the Poor?

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:12-14)

             The great eighteenth-century hymn writer and ex-slave trader John Newton marveled at the far-reaching impact of these words spoken by Jesus in Luke. “One would almost think this passage was not considered part of God’s word, nor has any part of Jesus’ teaching been more neglected by his own people. I do not think it is unlawful to entertain our friends” he says, “but if these words do not teach us that it is in some respects out duty to give preference to the poor, I am at a loss to understand them.” Looking at the current state of the American church, one can’t help but wonder if the “luncheon or dinner” Jesus was referring to could be what we call our church service today. We spend so much time catering our churches to our friends, brothers, sisters, relatives and neighbors, that we completely disregard those Jesus is calling to invite join us in our “banquet.”

            It’s not that Jesus commands us, his Church, to disregard those who we consider being friends, peers or of high economic status, for Jesus himself often ate with his peers and people of wealth. However, his mission was still for the poor. Jesus commanded that his disciples should share their homes and build relationships not with people of their class or higher, people they could profit from or that would pay them back, but with people who were poor and without influence. I believe he is calling his church to do the same; to be for the poor, with the poor, and in pursuit of the poor.

            Although I am unaware of any churches that actively turn the poor away, I am also unaware of many that actively seek out those in extreme poverty as being a part of their community. Most church facilities and services seem to be catered more to the middle-class who drive in from their different neighborhoods to come together with like-minded, similar looking people of their social class for once, maybe twice a week, fellowship and teaching. Although I’m sure many of these churches do really wonderful things to help the underserved and poor, it’s not as easy to make the case that they are designed “for the poor.” The Bible speaks of God as being “a refuge for the poor” (Isaiah 25:4; Psalm 14:6). Therefore the Church, as the body of Christ, is called to stand with the poor as a physical and spiritual place of refuge for them in this world. Is your church a banquet for your friends or a refuge for the poor?

Melissa

3 Missional Reasons to be Kind to Others

Darrin and Julie

Another insightful post by guest blogger, Julie Jones. Julie is a collegue of mine at Christian Associates. She and her husband, Darrin have ministered in Orange County, CA, France and Morroco and currently live in the Bay area.  They both are remarkable people.

“God says: my plan is to change you from the inside out, to change your motives – why you do what you do – and to change your impact on people so that how you relate to others will make them thirsty for Me and draw them to dependence on Me.”

Larry Crabb, God’s Love Letters to You

You just never know. You never know who is watching. Recently we went out to dinner with some friends to a fun restaurant that was new to all of us. Our waitress came out to get drink orders and, honestly, she scared me a little. She was a bit rough around the edges but we had good interaction with her and got chatting about her tattoos. Later that week we were in a neighboring city lunching at a deli and were having good conversation with our waiter when we saw our waitress from the previous restaurant! My husband immediately got up to say hello and she was friendly and had remembered us. Our waiter then came over and said he had noticed us talking to the waitress and that she was his daughter! He said how she is new to the wait staff there and that her boss was pleased she was bringing in business! She then came over and chatted for a bit. Our waiter then returned and noticed the Lacrosse jersey our son was wearing from his Christian school. We got talking sports and continued the meal. As we left the deli both father and daughter warmly said goodbye.

As I reflected upon the whole set of events several things struck me:

• First - Kindness always pays. Being friendly to our waitress opened a door, which had blessings in store for all of us.
• Secondly, going out of your way to be friendly opens doors. Had my husband not sought her out we might have missed the whole thing! 
• Thirdly, our Christian witness is witnessed by those around us. How we live our lives matters. How we treat wait staff matters. How we treat each other in public places matters. God wants our very being to make others hungry for Him in a parched world. 

“Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16